Saukerl
by TotoroBird
Summary: Her voice was punctuated with sobs, hard and breathless. Her frail body trembled as she took his dear, dear face in both hands and did the only thing she could think of. She gave her saukerl his kiss. Liesel's thoughts when she finds Rudy. Reviews much appreciated!


**A/N: I have been wanting to write a Book Thief fanfic for a while now, and I've finally got round to it, so here you go. I love writing in the style of the book, so I'll probably do more. I know it's kind of short, but feedback is much appreciated. Thanks for reading!**

_Nein._

He was there, lying on the rubble-coated ground. The boy with lemon coloured hair. Jesse Owens. _Rudy._ The word fell heavy from her lips and hit the floor with a dull regretful thud only she could hear.

_Nein._

It wasn't him, it couldn't be him. It just couldn't be. The girl stumbled forward, struggling over the piles of ash and brick, to where her best friend lay. His yellow hair wasn't yellow; it was a dirty grey, the same colour as the smoky sky.

***A Small Unnecessary Note In This Time Of Despair***

**I can remember the exact shade of the sky ****as the Book Thief located her Saukerl. It was as heavy and bittersweet as Rudy's soul.**

Liesel choked on tears and dust as she fell to her knees beside his long, thin body. Her trembling fingers touched his face as she tried to grasp the concept that Rudy Steiner was dead.

_ Nein._ She let out a heartbroken wail and collapsed over his still chest. No heartbeat fluttered under his ribcage, he was still. The boy she played football with. The boy who leapt into a frozen river to save The Whistler. The boy who covered himself in mud and ran for all his worth as a black man. He was the boy who hated the Fuhrer. He was the boy denied a kiss from his saumensch.

_Wake up. Wake up Rudy. Wake up. Rudy, please. Goddammit, I love you. Come on, come on Rudy. Jesse Owens. Don't you know I love you? Oh God, please wake up. Wake up. Wake up._

She found words pouring from her lips, thick and fast, as she tried to wake him. They had no real meaning; she couldn't define any sense out of them. It was her thoughts - jumbled and twisted and full of raw, burning grief that stung her throat and ached in her belly. His eyes were closed; his lips parted in an expression of almost-anticipation.

_ How about that kiss, saumensch?_

She could hear him. She could hear the words in her head; his voice, the small smirk on as he looked at her with unrestrained eagerness. Her fingers clumsily traced his mouth, staining them with ash. His self assured features were still there, one eyebrow raised in question, his blue eyes forever hopeful. The perfect race. Unwilling and rebellious. Goddamn stupid. Now gone. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, he was gone.

_Rudy? _

_Ja? _

_You still want that kiss, saukerl?_

The words were balancing on the end of her tongue. They had been for several weeks, months even. Maybe they had always been there, suppressed and confined behind her teeth, waiting to be released. It wouldn't have surprised her in the least.

_You still want that kiss, saukerl? _

This time, the words took physical form in the suffocating air before her. They were empty, they had no meaning. Not anymore. Liesel wasn't sure what she was waiting for exactly - the small part of her brain that was thinking clearly knew that he wouldn't respond. But he was still so real, so unbelievably, physically present. And she loved him. Oh God, she loved him. How could someone she craved so badly be gone?

_Please wake up, Rudy. Wake up. I love you. I love you._

Her voice was punctuated with sobs, hard and breathless. Her frail body trembled as she took his dear, dear face in both hands, and did the only thing she could think of.

She gave her saukerl his kiss.

***The Taste Of Grief***

**Rudy tasted of three things:**

**1. Dust**

**2. Reckless stupidity**

**3. Liesel's tears**

She pulled away and her fingers brushed the ash out of his hair as she gazed tearfully down at his still face. He would have grinned in surprise and triumph, and then he would have laughed. He would shake his head and say with his usual self confident smirk, 'You kept me waiting, saumensch.' Then she would have punched him. Then they would steal a book from Ilsa Hermann's library and starve for another day. Where had it all gone?

His lips were so soft to touch. They filled her with bitterness and regret, rather ironically. They were not emotions usually associated with such a wonderful, defiant, utterly idiotic boy.

Liesel fell back into his lips, miscalculating and crashing into the pavement. It hurt to move. The sooner she moved, the sooner they would take him away, and the child with the teddy bear would disappear forever. She laid there, still clutching the collar of his shirt, as she breathed the dirty, grey dust into her heavy lungs.

She needed to go. She needed to find Mama and Papa. But she couldn't leave him. He would never leave her. There was no bastard Hitler Youth on Himmel Street that could take away her lemon-haired friend.

_I love you, Jesse Owens, I love you._

There was no goodbye. A goodbye was defeat. A goodbye was a loss. Her goodbye to Rudy was buried deep in the confines of her throat till the day she died. So she got to her unsteady feet, and walked away for the last time. What else could she do? But it was sounding in her head like funeral bells, over and over.

***Liesel's Last Non-Words To Rudy***

**Goodbye, my saukerl.**


End file.
